You are more than your job

At 23 years old, I was laid off from my first job out of college.

We don’t realize how much of our identity is wrapped up in our jobs until you no longer have that as part of your identity.

I don’t know how many times I had to watch people’s uncomfortable reactions when I answered, “Well, I was laid off and now I’m in between jobs” to their question of, “So where do you work / what do you do?”.

I became more confident in knowing how to answer gracefully, but even just a couple weeks ago, I decided to walk away from a group conversation because I knew I was next in being asked about my job and I didn’t have the energy to explain my situation.

In college, the question everyone asks is, “What are you majoring in?” and in the professional world, the question everyone asks is, “What do you do?” It’s one of the first questions we ask when we meet someone new (which makes sense because it is a great way to learn more about someone), but we don’t realize how much of ourselves we identify based on what we do, rather than who we are. 

Now, don’t get me wrong – I am someone who believes you can be passionate about your work and I am not trying to say that your job has no purpose or meaning. There is a truth to how your job can reflect something about you – your interests, your skills, your passions, etc.

However, even before I was laid off, I tried to get in the habit of asking people what they are passionate about rather than their job title. I myself didn’t want to be known for working in the PR industry because there was more to me than just how I worked in PR. I didn’t want my job to define me.

But so often we let it. We let what we do – our job title, our salary, our company, our office – define us. We let a description of our position give us more value than a description of our character.

I recently hit my three month mark of being unemployed, and it hit me pretty hard. I don’t know how many times I felt “lesser” in society because of my employment status. I had sent countless applications and hadn’t heard back from any, yet I felt like I had to justify myself to people when answering how my job search was going. Perhaps this was some of my own insecurities being projected, but there were times that I felt judged or misunderstood because of my situation and yet it wasn’t even my choice to leave.

I felt less valuable because I didn’t have a job.

I recently shared these thoughts and insecurities with a friend and she encouraged me and reminded me of this: “Cate, I’ve never thought less of you because of this. And besides, a job doesn’t make you who you are – your character does.”

I realized I needed a mindset change. A job – or lack of a job – doesn’t define me. Because I believe in God, I can claim my identity based on who He says I am.

• Even though I may have felt alone – God is with me.
• Even though I may have felt uncertain about my future – God gives me a future and a hope.
• Even though my life may have felt less valuable – God gives my life meaning and purpose.
• Even though I was doubting my worth – God shows his unchanging love for me.
• Even though I no longer had a job – God still calls me his beloved daughter.

After being suddenly laid off, I can confidently say that a job and money will come and go – we can’t base our worth and value off of job titles, company names and salaries. While those can be accomplishments worth celebrating, they are not what we should be forming our identity and hope around. Because suddenly, one day, all of that can change and you’re left without those same titles, company names and salaries that you once valued.

And yet, one day can also change for the better. Over three months passed by and then all of a sudden, I had an interview, received my first offer for a new job and accepted the position. There is a definite sense of relief knowing I can start making an income again and I am excited about the new job and the experience it will be. What’s ironic, however, was that I didn’t feel drastically better when I received the offer. Perhaps I was still in shock that I will no longer be unemployed, but ultimately, I realized that I am not any more valuable now with a job than I was without one. I’m still Cate.

The past few months have been one of the most challenging seasons I’ve walked through in my young adult life, and I can confidently say that I was, am and will continue to be grateful for it. I’ve learned so much during this season of unemployment – about myself, my worth, my relationships, my career potential and my faith in God. I could write for hours on what I’ve learned, but ultimately, I’ve learned to not think less of myself because of what happened, but rather to embrace who God has created me to be and to live fully in that – in my career, my relationships, my faith and in all aspects of my life.

We place a high value on work and career and it’s not a bad thing to value, but we need to be mindful of how easy it is to value that above all else. We have to remember to step back and remember that who we are is more important than what we do.

Sure, a job is a part of you. But it is not all of you.

You are more than your job.