Layoffs & what we often don’t talk about

“Your position has been eliminated”.
I first heard those words 7 years ago and I most recently heard them again several weeks ago.

I’ve written before about the difficulties of my layoff at 23 years old and while I’m in a different place now at 30, I have felt a lot of the same raw emotions with losing my job unexpectedly. I couldn’t help but reflect on some of the aspects of layoffs that people don’t often voice publicly:

• The feeling of powerlessness. You walk into a room and are told your job is gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Whatever plans, goals, or opinions you had for your future suddenly disappear. Even if you had plans or thoughts about leaving at some point, you lost the agency to make that decision for yourself. It was made for you. Your job is at the hand of your employer, and it’s all gone in a matter of moments.
• The feeling of justifying or explaining yourself. Some people might care or respond well (I’ve learned to give a lot of grace because many simply don’t understand what it’s like to lose a job suddenly) but you often feel like you have to explain your plans, your job search, or your thoughts about the future to others. It is emotionally and mentally exhausting, especially when it wasn’t your choice or timing to leave your job.
• The feeling of ambiguity with your future. You may know exactly what you want to look for next or you may have no idea. Now, all of a sudden, you are left to figure it out. Layoffs can act as a catalyst to change up roles, cities, or even careers. There can be some excitement and hope for the change, but that’s also mixed in with the uncertainties of the future. Your weekly rhythms are completely changed and you are left with a large amount of time each day. It can feel so daunting and overwhelming.
• The feeling of not being valued. You may know without a shadow of a doubt the decision wasn’t tied to your performance, but at the end of the day, you know that your position was the one cut. It is a business decision and while understandable, especially given the economic times we’re in, you still can’t help but not feel important enough for the organization or company. As you’re looking for a new job, you have to fight to believe in yourself in a time when, truthfully, you often don’t.
• The feeling of exhaustion with the logistical nightmare that accompanies unemployment. Your income stops. Your healthcare coverage ends. Your 401k contributions are halted. Your weekly routine and purpose for each day is altered. Your professional network and relationships are changed. Applying for unemployment benefits, adjusting student loan payments, or figuring out other bills adds to the stress of what’s next. When you lose a job, you always lose much more than just your job.
• The feeling of “other”. The majority of your friends, peers, and colleagues will work while you are unemployed. You can’t help but realize how much society places value and identity on work until you don’t have it for yourself. Work often dominates the topic of conversation. It is uncomfortable to feel so different, especially when you’re in a position you didn’t want for yourself. It takes time to find confidence of who you are regardless of your job title, income, or plans for future.

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There are many more thoughts, emotions, and experiences that come with a layoff. Sudden unemployment is traumatic and we don’t often talk about the emotional and mental challenges beyond the more obvious financial and physical ones. If you’ve experienced a layoff, I hope sharing a few of these emotions helps to articulate a glimpse into your experience. And if you know someone who has been laid off, I hope this can help equip you to better understand what your friend, spouse, coworker, or family member is going through when unemployed.

I was recently laid off due to the banking crisis and overall economic environment, and even though it made sense logically, it was still a shock and disappointment to hear that my marketing role was terminated. After taking some time to process, I have only become more passionate about helping others through grief, loss, and unemployment. I will share more about my plans in the near future, but until then, I am embracing this time to rest, refocus, and recalibrate for what’s next in my career.

For me personally, my faith acts as my foundation. Even in the wrestling of “why, God?”, I choose to believe He is good. He reminds me that my worth is not tied to my job. He empowers me to feel hope in the midst of loss. He gives me peace in the midst of uncertainty.

I know the tendency can be to hide or not talk about the hardships with unemployment, but I’ve experienced the power of community showing up for me. People who know my story and why this is especially difficult for me given what happened to my family and what I’ve faced in my own career as an adult. We don’t like to admit when we need help, but oh how powerful it is when we invite safe people into our lives to care for us.

If you’re currently walking through a layoff, I encourage you to share with a few trusted friends. However you need to process, please don’t walk through unemployment alone. Your story matters.