A reflection on death

We cannot escape the news of Kobe Bryant’s death. He was a sports icon and many people grew up watching him, and even if we never knew him, the helicopter crash was a shock to many.

I think this news also hits home for us because of how we’re reminded of our own loved ones – both those here now and those we’ve lost.

During this same weekend, I’ve been grieving the death of a family member.

I didn’t grow up with any living grandparents (the only one was my dad’s father who passed away when I was 3). At times, I would feel the sadness of not having those roles in my life, but to me it was normal. I didn’t realize the extent of the gap until I saw into others’ families. Grandparents have a beautifully impactful role.

My mom’s aunt and uncle stepped in to fill that role – even so much to perform a ceremony when we were kids, adopting Luke and me as their honorary grandchildren. From then on out, Bill and Vicky became PopPop and MeMe.

While I have been processing his death since I found out, it hit me yesterday when I read an announcement that included me as one of his six grandchildren. He really did choose me as his granddaughter. We tend to think of family as those who have to love you, and while there’s beauty and truth to that, I saw how family can also be those who choose to love you.

We see that in friendships, in romantic partners but rarely do we think about that for family. In the midst of all the recent news, I hope that we can love a little differently – not as an obligation, but as a choice – which might even make it all the more powerful.

I will forever be grateful to PopPop and MeMe for how they chose to welcome us into their family. Even though I mourn his death, I thank God for his life, and that he will always be my PopPop.