I humbly confess that I was fairly apathetic to the international news about COVID-19 at first. Ironically enough, I initially became aware in early February because I was planning a trip in April to visit a good friend who’s currently living in Hong Kong.
My friend, a teacher, told me about school closings and what her experience was with remote working, events being cancelled, etc. We kept in contact and I was curious about what was going on, but mostly in relation to our potential trip. By the end of February, schools were still closed and their closings were even extended. With that update, we agreed it was best for us to postpone.
Even at that time, if I’m honest, the coronavirus still felt “distant”. The virus impacted a trip I was planning, sure, but that was it. When evaluating the trip, I was more concerned with the return to the States versus thinking about the possibility of how this virus could (and would) spread across the globe and affect my own life.
Isn’t that how apathy works?
It wasn’t until COVID-19 started impacting my own life that I started to care and prepare for its impact.
Because as we all know, in a matter of days, our lives changed before our eyes.
On March 3, I started a new job. Over the weekend, I went on a quick trip and noticed slightly more precautionary steps with sanitation on planes, but otherwise, felt no sense of fear or concern.
On March 7, I received my first marketing email from a brand about their response to the coronavirus. I’m sure we can all relate with the influx of emails we received over the following days.
On March 9, the second week of my new job, we discussed whether the coronavirus should impact a quarterly meeting at the end of the month. We decided we’d continue to monitor it.
On March 11, WHO declared this coronavirus outbreak to be a pandemic.
On March 12, the NCAA cancelled March Madness. Other leagues postponed their seasons. Companies discussed remote plans. Grocery stores became raided. I could tell the energy was different. Fear was increasing. Panic was beginning. Uncertainty was looming.
By March 13, Trump declared a national emergency. Our boss announced that in alignment with city recommendations, we’d be working remotely for the foreseeable future. My church officially cancelled its services indefinitely. It became real.
Within days, COVID-19 was no longer something to watch in the news. It became our own living reality.
After watching my church service online, a few friends and I discussed the impacts of COVID-19 and what it looks like to care for people during this time. As I was listening to others, all of a sudden, I became flooded with memories of my own job loss and financial instability.
Once I realized what was happening, I had to step away. Tears were welling up in my eyes. My heart was pounding. I was slightly shaking. My body was having a physical response to revisiting the stress and trauma I lived through during the time of April 2016 – 2018.
I had to speak out loud to myself, saying “I’m okay. I’m okay”. I had to remind myself that God brought me out of that time and that I’m no longer living in that reality today.
And that’s what broke my heart. While I was reminding myself that I was okay, I felt burdened knowing others are not. Those who will or have lost their jobs. Those who don’t know where their next paycheck is coming from. Those who are living each day uncertain of whether they will be able to make it through this crisis financially.
While I am now in a privileged situation (I have a salaried job with remote working capabilities), I know others are not. Now, I am beyond grateful that I’m no longer living in survival mode, but it felt like a type of “survivors’ guilt” for wrestling with those varying emotions.
I could let that guilt drive me into a negative place, or I can let it drive me towards empathy. Towards prayer. Towards action.
I know what it’s like to live with financial uncertainty. To be laid off. To apply for unemployment benefits. To rely on those checks to survive. To have a job offer rescinded. To go through savings. To genuinely not know how to pay the next month’s rent.
I cannot begin to describe the pain and hurt I feel for anyone who is currently experiencing that (or will) due to the pandemic. If you are going through that, please reach out to me as I’d love to be a listening ear and remind you that you’re not alone.
From my own experience, I can look back on those two years and feel grateful for the stronger, more refined version of myself that I know I’ve become. However, I would be lying to say that there also aren’t scars. With my own response of being triggered last week, I was reminded that I may live with some of these scars for the rest of my life.
And yet, these scars provide me with empathy that I can offer to those around me. These scars remind me that I’ve overcome a difficult time and spur me on to help others overcome their own battles. These scars are sources of understanding of what to pray for those affected right now. These scars are reminders of strength and perseverance.
Yes, this time will probably impact you.
But more importantly, it doesn’t have to control you.
There’s so much in this life we cannot control, but we do have control over how we respond to the circumstances we face.
You can choose to respond with faith over fear. With hope instead of anxiety. With empathy and compassion over selfishness.
Regardless of whether you will be infected with COIVD-19 or not, we have a duty as citizens and fellow humans to care for one another, especially in this time of crisis.
- You can choose to stay at home and self-isolate, instead of putting yourself and others at risk.
- You can choose to extend grace to your coworker on video chat who has their toddler running around in the background.
- You can choose to be especially kind and patient to those working at grocery stores, pharmacies and other essential businesses.
- You can choose to express your gratitude to teachers, educators and professors.
- You can choose to send a gift card, donate or support someone who lost their job.
- You can choose to pray and check in on those you know in the medical profession who are working tirelessly right now.
This is an unprecedented time. The nations of the world are all affected by COVID-19, and we are all fighting against the same virus.
Across the globe, each country is trying to combat the spreading of the virus by enforcing state or national lockdowns or other executive orders in hopes of keeping their citizens safe. Medical professionals across the globe are putting their own lives at risk in order to provide care for those infected. Individuals and families are staying at home and committing to social distancing in order to flatten the curve. We’re all living in a state of uncertainty over our futures and none of us know long this will last. How can that not create empathy on a global scale?
Regardless of whether you’re walking through sudden unemployment, you’re trying to manage a household with children while working full-time, or viewing this as a time to rest, all of our lives have been disrupted in some way, shape or another.
Our routines and rhythms have been altered. Our social lives and extracurricular commitments have been cancelled. Our workplaces and school systems are being adapted in creative and technological ways. Our governments have locked down cities, states and countries. Within days, our lives changed completely.
With all these sudden changes, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed, fearful and uncertain about the future. Those emotions are valid and will come in waves. We can all learn to extend more grace and compassion towards one another, and ourselves. You are not alone; in fact, people across the entire world are experiencing a lot of the same emotions, fears and realities as you.
I think it’s safe to say, the world is no longer living in a state of apathy. Almost every country has been touched by this virus. It is a reality we simply cannot ignore.
And with accepting our new reality, we can be paralyzed with fear, uncertainty or anxiety. Or, we can move towards empathy, and let that drive us to compassion, prayer and action.
Apathy is no longer an option. Choose empathy. And #stayhome.
The Beauty In Our Brokenness 
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