When you are laid off (at 23)

Yesterday will be one of those days I remember for the rest of my life.

My day began with me waking up early (which most of you know is rare for a night owl like myself) to read some verses, journal and go for a run. It was a beautiful day outside and I enjoyed my commute downtown on the train. I arrived at my desk and chatted with a few coworkers. I checked my email and began a quick assignment.

Suddenly an instant message popped up asking me to chat for a moment. I stopped by this person’s desk only to be told we were going to walk. We headed into a conference room and then the head of HR walked in. My stomach dropped.

She quickly explained that there had been some changes in clients and due to unstable budgets and the resulting financial impacts on our company, I was unfortunately affected. “Your position has been eliminated”. 

No one can prepare you for hearing those words. I immediately burst into tears and the head of HR continued to say “and today is your last day. We recommend that you leave immediately.” 

That is what affected me most. My mind goes to my coworkers and how I won’t get to say goodbye, say thank you or have any sort of closure. My mind goes to my teams and how they’re going to have to pick up my work with no notice. My mind goes to how I can’t even tell them I’ve been laid off or finish the assignments I had been working on that morning.

The rest of the meeting is a blur – something about my last paycheck, they’ll pack up my things, I’m not the only one affected, etc. I was given a few moments to gain composure (aka cry freely) before heading out. I knew sitting in a conference room crying could only help for so long, so I took a few deep breaths and walked towards my desk. I honestly barely remember walking – I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. I closed my computer, grabbed my bag and walked out the door.

I first called my parents and told them the news. I walked along Lake Michigan and then the Chicago Riverfront and talked with a few friends on the phone. I told my small group and immediately had an outpouring of love and encouragement. I had dinner at a coworker’s apartment where multiple coworkers came to sit with me, listen to me and process with me. I’ve been incredibly encouraged by the people who have come alongside me already. To those who’ve texted, called and sent verses – thank you. The love, prayers and support means more than I can describe to you in this post.

Being laid off is one of the most shocking and unsettling experiences I’ve honestly ever had happen to me. I could never have been prepared for what it feels like. I would never have expected to be laid off in less than a year after graduating college. I would never have expected to have one of those major life crises (losing your job) at 23 years old.

But I did.

And even though I’m shocked, God isn’t.

I’m overwhelmed by this, but God loves and comforts me.

I’m uncertain about what’s next, but God holds my future.

This sounds dramatic, but it’s actually a true statement: My life changed within a matter of minutes. Within minutes, I was told my position was eliminated and that I had to leave immediately. Within minutes, I walked out and didn’t get to say proper goodbyes to any of my colleagues. Within minutes, I realized I am now out of a job and I have no idea what to do next. It began as a normal day and all of a sudden, I’m now unemployed and uncertain about what tomorrow holds.

Who would have thought after graduating college, moving to a new city and starting my first full-time job, I would also be laid off within the same year? It would be so easy to let my mind go into the thoughts and realities I now face: My income is going to stop soon. I have rent to pay. I have recurring bills. I have student loan payments. I have a limited amount of time to be able to search for jobs before those realities force me to adapt my life.

The next few weeks could easily be focused on the stress, sadness, fear and uncertainty (all of which I will still feel – I woke up this morning and cried in my bed for awhile), but it’s because of that why I have to press into Jesus. I have to trust that He knew this was going to happen and He knows the timeframe of when I will need a new source of income. He knows what I need and He will not leave me or forsake me. He will provide for me.

I share the shock and confusion of being laid off, the uncertainty about my future and the fear of not knowing what’s next because it is something many can relate to – if this has happened or if it ever does, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Yet, my hope is that I can also share how I know that God wasn’t surprised by this. He knew this was going to happen yesterday, and He knows what is in store. I can trust in Him because He is faithful.

While I cannot begin to describe how it feels to be laid off so early into my career, I also cannot begin to describe the peace I feel knowing that God is in control. He is good and that doesn’t change with circumstances. While this is not ideal, God allowed this to happen in this way and time, so I can trust that He sees me and will provide what I need. In the midst of this completely terrifying, unsettling, shocking circumstance, I choose to look forward to seeing how the Lord provides for me in a new way.

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19)

Thank you for reading. Family and friends, I ask for you to join me in prayers for peace, comfort and for God’s provision in a new job or opportunity where I can utilize my gifts and passions.

He is good and He is faithful even in the midst of great uncertainty. 

“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)